The Priest and Vodka

> Subject: Vodka
>
> This is a funny forward. ( but please don't break
> the chain):
>
> SIPPING VODKA
>
> A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he
> could hardly speak.
>
> After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
> The monsignor
> replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous
> on the pulpit, I put
> a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start
> to get nervous, I
> take a sip."
>
> So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At
> the beginning of the
> sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He
> proceeded to talk up a
> storm.Upon his return to his office after the mass,
> he found the
> following note on the door:
>
> 1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
> 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
> 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
> 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
> 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet
> his ass.
> 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the
> late J.C.
> 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not
> referred to as Daddy,
> Junior and the spook.
> 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the
> shit out of him.
> 9. When David was hit by a rock and was
> knocked off his donkey,
> don't say he was stoned off his ass.
> 10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big
> T."
> 11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last
> supper he said, "take
> this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "
> Eat me" .
> 12. The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with
> the Cherry,.
> 13. The recommended grace before a meal is not:
> Rub-A-Dub-Dub
> thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
> 14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling
> contest at ST.Peter's
> not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Recd from Rashmi Bharadwaj on Thu, 2 Jun 2005 23:15:45 -0700 (PDT)