11 Rules from Bill Gates

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair -- get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping -- they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Detective Sardar

Three sardarjis were all applying for the last available position on the Punjab Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said,
"So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

The sardarjis all nodded.

The detective got up, o pened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder.
Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said,
"To be a detective, you have to be able to detect.
You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth."

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first sardarjiand withdrew it after about two seconds.
"Now," he said,"did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The sardarji immediately said,
"Yes, I did, he has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said,
"Of course he has only one eye in this picture!
It's a profile of his face!
You're dismissed!"

The first sardarji hung his head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second sardarji, stuck the photo in his face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said,
"What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed,
"Didn't you hear what I just told the this sardarji?
This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!
You're excused too!"

The second sardarji sheepishly walked out of the office.


The detective turned his attention to the third and lastsardarji and said,
"This is probably a waste of time, but.... "
He flashed the photo in his face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying,
"All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The sardarji said,
"I sure did. This man wears contact lenses.
" The detective frowned, took a good look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.
He looked up at the sardarji with a puzzled expression and said,
"You're absolutely right!
His bio says he wears contacts!
How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The sardarji rolled his eyes and said,

With only One eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."